brokebitchmountain | IC INBOX

I do not believe that to be...true. You are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for, Childe. Besides, it was Venti and...I who put you into such a position, to begin with. [ Which is when he looks away his expression rather dour as Childe speaks up again. Zhongli's eyes...there's a pain in them that Childe will have never seen before. ]

No! That...that is not why I... [ he might look away again, gloved hands balling into fists as he closes his eyes to take a breath. There are so many emotions fluttering through him right now, things he's never felt before. It's strange, alarming, he doesn't exactly like it either and yet.

He might look angry for a second there as he lightly hits his fist against the arm of the chair he's seated in. ] That is not why I did what I did.

[ His sounds off, unlike himself, as his emotions get the better of him at the moment. ] I kept my distance so as to protect you. So that I-so that I would not hurt you again. I have hurt far too many in the past. I...seeing you like that I couldn't...I thought the worst.

[ Childe's unconscious body is still something he sees when he does dream and sleep. Seeing his body like that reminded him of Guizhong, Azhdaha, so many others. And then he feels something strange in his chest as hot tears cloud his vision and his frustrations and fears overwhelm him at that moment. ] Ah.

[ His gloves are wet with them as he looks almost perplexed at his own tears. ] I thought that I had...lost you just like I have lost everyone else.

[ It hurts. It hurts so much to even think about and all that pent-up loneliness, all that guilt about hurting Childe so much, it comes boiling to the surface thanks to the weirdness of the gems malfunctioning too. ]

[ Childe doesn't know how to respond and simply scowls at Zhongli attempting to insist that Childe didn't need him around. It may be true that Zhongli and Venti put him into such a state, but the fact of the matter is that their power between them being archons and their cursed abilities with none of their sanity to be had was a vicious combination. If Zhongli hadn't been there afterwards or hadn't managed to come back to his senses when he did, he would have absolutely been dead.

Childe is about to retort back in insistence but is caught off guard by that sudden snappy denial from the other at the accusation. That's... extremely unlike Zhongli: the raising of his voice, the lack of control, and the very apparent frustration of it all as the archon bangs his fist against the arm of the chair he's in.

What? What is going on? What's wrong with him? A slight panic rises in Childe, wondering if he went too far this time and was deserving of being scolded, but something about this behavior— even that flash of anger— doesn't seem directed at him or the kind that comes from being fed up with an individual's bullshit.

Anything he could have or would have said is slapped right out of him at Zhongli's sudden admittance, the fact that he was actually scared of losing Childe, that he thought he lost him ... like everyone else? Could it be possible Zhongli really somehow equated him as that important in his life that he could be one of the people he so cared for that he's lost?

That has to be impossible, and yet... those tears aren't fake. This are real emotional tears, the kind a confused deeply empathetic and emotional human cries when they give and feel and love too much and are hurt in the process no matter their age. Speechless, Childe stands there before finally stepping forward to gently reach and cup Zhongli's face carefully, tilting his head back slightly to have him look at him even as the Harbinger leans down some. ]

... Xiansheng, don't cry... I promise I'm going to do everything possible to not leave you behind like that ever. [ Childe's voice is soft, clearly concerned and a little frantic at seeing these tears spilling from Zhongli, and he's trying to sound assuring, but he's a little bit too concerned about what is actually happening to the other to be able to be a fully soothing presence in terms of sounding confident in his words. It's clear he's looking for the words that will calm and assure Zhongli, but since Childe's not all that calm now himself, it's a bit of a messy execution.

Nevertheless, he will move his hands from the other's face in order to embrace him even as Childe brings one knee to rest on the edge of the chair so he can better hug Zhongli to him as close as he can in an effort to comfort, even pressing a gentle kiss to the top of the archon's head. The bitterness he was feeling moments ago is gone. ]

Please don't cry...

Edited 2021-11-23 16:55 (UTC)

[ Zhongli doesn't know what to feel...he barely knows how to feel let alone process all these strange and unfamiliar thoughts and ideas now coursing through him.

It's strange to hear and see Childe so alarmed and worried about him and he feels even more guilt for drawing out such feelings and actions from the other. It's only made worse by the fact that Morax had almost killed Childe twice and yet he still feels it appropriate to offer him any sort of consolation? Humans are indeed strange and wonderous, their ability to forgive and forget always astounds him. He lets himself be pulled into that hug as he gives a shaky sigh, still uncertain how to proceed. It's not often that the geo archon is for a loss of words but here he is. ] I am...sorry for you to see me like this.

[ Zhongli looks back up at Childe his eyes are empty, lost, and somewhat unsure as he looks to the other man before him. ] I have lost so many...and I have hurt and harmed just as many. Seeing what I had become, what I had done to you...

[ It was just a lot for him to really take in and deal with in his typical way. The gem on his chest glows dully as he looks away again. ]

To still wish to be in my presence like this, it is truly something I do not fully understand.

[ That's... Childe is at a loss for words when it comes to what he went through at the hands of Morax. The first one he could brush off easily, even if being drained like that is normally a near death state in Noctium. It was a foreign feeling of death narrowly passing him by.

The second was a little more familiar, but no less surreal aside from the pain reminding him. Afterall, he'd been the one to exacerbate his own injuries to injure Morax. When Zhongli looks away from him, Childe lowers his gaze further down to the gem gently pulsing its power on the other man. The thought this must definitely be gem related crosses his mind, but not enough for him to be able to associate such guilt and sorrow and emotional concern as being gem fabricated when Zhongli seems to so readily be feeling well these things.

Perhaps that is his first mistake for things to come.

For now, though, it instills a rush of something in his chest, seeking him to further urge and comfort the other to not let him be so upset with himself.

Bringing his hands to up Zhongli's face he leans in to press a gentle kiss to the other's lips and savors the contact between them. It feels like it's been forever since he's been able to touch him, and he had been acting like it didn't bother him, but the gem issue is causing his impatience and neediness to the forefront. He's been craving affection from anyone since Zhongli has been around less, but now he's really craving it at an overly intense level, and from Zhongli himself. Luckily it's not enough to disregard Zhongli's feelings, but it does make him less guarded and more receptive to the other and being more honest. While he lets the kiss linger, it isn't for overall very long. It would be wrong to ignore the situation even if he's positive he can distract the other man from such misery with his body. ]

You're all I've ever wanted. [ he speaks up against Zhongli's mouth. ] You... were the first person willing to see me as a person rather than a Harbinger. The first person to laugh with me, to be my friend that wasn't from Snezhnaya. When I got here, too, you were there to help me when I had no one else. You put up with me and my insatiable habits, my need to do my duty as a Harbinger, and you've been in my life daily since I came to stay with you. You think... some demon cursing you into doing such things to others—to me— would make me not want to be around you? I won't let such a thing take you from me.

[ Another kiss pressed to Zhongli's mouth before he's lowering himself to straddle the other's lap, arms around his neck now. Childe looks at him with concern, but there is also clear adoration and affection in his usually dark unfeeling eyes. ]

I can take it, Zhongli. Whatever you do to me, I can take it. I'm going to always be around you. So, if you need to take it out on someone, I'm fine with it. That way you don't hurt someone who is weaker. In this case, though, this wasn't your fault. It's not your nature to hurt others. Besides... How could I hold it against you with what I do as a Harbinger? [ he presses their noses together gently, forcing a soft smile. ] you don't have to go through this place's problems on your own. We can get through it together, even when things get bad. I don't want you to run away from me anymore. I'll protect you, and that includes from yourself when things get bad here.

Childe...

[ His voice wavers as he speaks the other's name. But he melts into the kiss, almost greedily, he returns it with just as much need and wants as Childe seems to have suddenly. The ache in his chest is dulled as he watches Childe straddle him, a different sort of heat courses through him and up to his cheeks as he looks into the other man's eyes. ]

You should not have to take it. But I know that this place is not what it seems and can cause tensions between us. I too will always be here for you, just as it were back in Liyue. You are important to me and I wish to be there for you in kind. I will protect you as well if I am able.

[ He says solemnly as he places his hands on Childe's hips and pulls him closer, dragging him down into a heated kiss, his cheeks flushed red as he watches Childe closely. ] I do not wish to...ever lose you.

[ Childe's eyes widen at Zhongli's words, stunned to hear them. He can feel it, though, that these aren't just words, they're real emotions. Zhongli is really feeling such things...? Perhaps he should be more reserved and withhold assumptions, but as Zhongli just mentioned this place is not what it seems. The same that affects Zhongli has Childe eager to believe the words means something truly special, that Zhongli saying such while dragging their bodies closer, by pulling him down into a heated kiss like that this is ... passion. Not simple lust, not just their electrifying compatibility seeming to lead them into sex again and again.

(That's not possible, a small voice, says. Even if Zhongli feels that way, that doesn't mean he understands it or views it the same way, but Childe is so impatient, so needy and desperate to hang Zhongli's fill attention, he discards the warning his own mind attempts to issue. It's easier to go with the emotion, to get wrapped up in his impatience and Zhongli's face with his cheeks blushing like that really does something to him—)

The kiss causes his senses to haze over, deep blue eyes large with pupils dilated as he catches his breath before he's pressing himself firmly against Zhongli's chest, as he holds him close. There's a spark of mischief, a spark of intense interest before he speaks so sweetly that most wouldn't initially believe the content said upon hearing it. ]

Let me make love to you, Xiangsheng. Please. I hated you being away from me, I just wanted to be in your arms again. Let me show you how much I need you... simply because I want you. With me.

[ he can't bring himself to say love. In truth he understands the word and feels it may fit here, but he can't tell if simply he loves Zhongli or is in love with him. The only thing Childe is certain of is that he doesn't just want to fuck, he wants this to mean something. ]

I'll make it good for you... Let me give you my heart, so you'll never lose me.

[ He is feeling them and maybe struggling a bit to process them as well. These are all new and unfamiliar things to him, after all. But he lets out a soft huff as his cheeks redden with embarrassment, amber eyes keeping themselves on Childe despite the mischief he is causing. He might lean up again raising his hand and arm to lightly guide Childe down again as he kisses him more softly. But there's a smile touching his lips as he pulls away again. ]

You will always have mine so I will accept yours in kind.

[ Is the soft muttered words as Zhongli smiles happily back at Childe once more. ] I too have missed your presence. I think some time alone will be beneficial for us both.

[ Childe can't help but smile back — how can one not when Zhongli is smiling at them like that (and saying this words, his own heart is breathing hard in anticipation, in the rush of elation because that's... that's as a good as a confession, right? Zhongli definitely feels the same way, there's no — and he sinks into the kiss, careful to keep it unfrenzied but still passionate. Unfortunately, he has to pull away and slide out of the other's lap because fucking in the chair won't do for something like this.

Still, Childe's smile is sincere and warm even as he grabs Zhongli by the wrist to pull him up from the chair and lead him to the bedroom.

Once they make it there Childe uses his hold on Zhongli to send the other down onto the bed, immediately pulling his own shirt over his head to discard as he makes his way to climb on top of the archon and pin him against the bed while pressing a heated kiss to Zhongli's lips. Right before sealing their mouths together, however, he whispers against the other's sensually. ] Hope you didn't make plans today, because this is going to be a long affair. By the time we're done, you'll be ready to cum just by me whispering your name. That's how much I'm going to love and pleasure you.

[ Zhongli allows himself to be brought and dragged into the bedroom his own heart pounding in his ears as he idly watches Childe guide. This feeling is different than before. Somehow he's both anxious and worried about something? Like he wants to make Childe feel good as well and hopes to not disappoint, it's something he's never really felt when in the presence of the other man especially when they've had sex.

His back is pressed against the bed in too fast a motion for him to really respond to but that kiss? That kiss he can definitely respond with some eager and heated passion of his own, his hips thrusting up just a little bit to rub against Childe's body. Zhongli will actually shudder at those words a hand pulling Childe in for that kiss. There's moment of reprieve as he pulls away not because he needs air, of course, but Childe...well. ]

I am looking forward to it. I need not worry about you disappointing me in those regards.

[ One of Childe's hands reaches to catch the other's backside when he presses his hips up towards him, taking advantage to squeeze that delectable ass of Zhongli's while simultaneously keep them pressed together as her greetings against the other archon. It's a shame he has to breathe, really, but he does his best to catch his breath, offering a promising smile in response to those words. There's just the smallest playful chuckle from him before he leans in to sink into another kiss, his tongue flicking teasingly over Zhongli's lips before closing the distance.

It's hard to often read Childe, but for once it is painfully clear that he seems terribly happy in a way he hasn't shown before. ]

[ The happiness he sees from the other is truly genuine and Zhongli also feels a similar way if his expression of adoration and love weren't indicative enough. The markings on his skin glow with elation as he runs a hand through Childe's hair, leaning up to kiss him again before he works on loosening the other's pants and belt.

Something about this just feels...good, and right, like this is perfect in some manner of the word and Zhongli is thrilled to be a part of it. ]

[ Childe doesn't think he's ever been so happy in his life. His happiest moment besides being with his siblings was the day he was given his delusion and the rank of Harbinger. He had worked so damn hard to get from starting at the pit bottoms to that point. Yet, somehow, that feeling he had pales in comparison to now. He's got a living breathing individual that cares for him the same way he does them despite everything they have gone through. It makes all the struggles worth it to see Zhongli like this, too.

While he lets Zhongli loosen his bottoms, he preoccupies himself with kissing and licking at the other's neck sensually, even as his own hands work at undoing the other's tie and working the buttons to expose warm skin that he can't wait to feel against his own. ]

[ Zhongli gives a pleasing sound as he arches his back to try and rub his groin against Childe's from his position beneath him. A gloved hand will find itself tangled and pulling lightly on Childe's hair as he turns Childe's head to full-on kiss him with a sensual and deep kiss.

With his free hand, he palms Childe's cock through his pants, which have been pulled down sufficiently enough for him to work on the waistband for his underwear. He'll laugh lightly as he lets Childe undress him like so it's a strange and interesting feeling to have but he doesn't mind it in the least currently. ]

[ Child rather likes how willing Zhongli is. Not that he's usually unwilling, but their sex tends to be volatile and a bit animalistic in nature rather than sensual and romantic. This is nice, he hopes this is real, that he can hear that laughter some more along with all the other songs he plans to drag out of the archon before they're done.

Done with the buttons, Childe splays his fingers open to push the shirt fabric apart, letting his fingertips relish in pressing against firm hard muscle. Zhongli is perfect, and it's only now that Chiilde feels a need to say such things, to make it known to the other. His words are dripping in lust, but there's an affectionate admiration to them as if someone is awe inspired by what they see and have a chance to experience. Running his tongue along the edge of the outer shell of Zhongli's, he hums approvingly. His fingers run over the geo archon's bare chest, taking note of each muscle and its clean definition beneath the skin as well as the hardening nipples they brush along teasingly. ]

You are so beautiful, Zhongli. Every inch of you is truly perfect.

[ Zhongli allows Childe to explore his body, run his hands along his skin as he reacts with little huffs and intakes of air. It's certainly new for them, exploring one another's bodies like so. Animalistic was certainly a good term for how their sexual encounters have been in the past. But this was more sensual and definitely a different air to it then before.

Zhongli might chuckle as he leans in to steal a kiss from Childe after he says that. ] And you are much the same to me, Childe.

[ He's patient with almost everything in his life but when it comes to this his patience often wears thin and he finds himself wanting to just jump right into the act. He brings a hand up to cup Childe's face, his expression warm and loving as he strokes the other's cheek. ] You are perfect.

[ That's more than fine. He plans to keep Zhongli here a while and take it slow, but that doesn't mean the act has to be dragged out versus getting right into the thick of it. He focuses on stripping the other completely, one so he can admire the beauty of the other's body, but also so there will be no more obstructions to deal with on his conquest to pleasuring his lover.

He's always made it his priorities to satisfy Zhongli and anyone else he's slept with, now will be no different. He leans in to brush his lips once more against the archon's before dragging his mouth downward, using teeth and tongue to blaze a path down the other's throat, his chest, his stomach all the way down in between his legs. It's here that Childe pauses, choosing to play and tease the other's cock for a moment, even running his tongue from the base of it to its head and nursing the slit there before he's changing course. He pulls back only so he can coax Zhongli to lift his legs back towards his chest to allow him clearer access to that waiting entrance. As eager as they are, he probably should prep him at least some which is what prompts him to slip one finger, then two, in order stretch him open a little— enough where he can run his tongue along the edge of that hole, it curling ever so slightly inside.

This continues, his fingers moving inside of Zhongli to provide him with stimulus but also to keep his entrance open enough for him to freely run his tongue about the area. It won't be long before he lets his fingers pull out completely from the other, chosing to grab hold of the other man's thighs so he can properly hold him in place and apply the pressure with his tongue alone now to work his way inside and continue pleasuring the other. Zhongli deserves a very nice thorough session of being eaten out and tongue-fucked, doesn't he? Of course he does and Childe intends to make it memorable. ]

[ Zhongli's moan and pleasure are audible as he feels Childe's touch, kisses, burning into his heated skin acting almost like a coolant for him as he feels Childe tease and plays with his cock. His hips buck when that touch flickers along the slit of it and up and down the length of it. Precum wells up at the tip as Zhongli's amber eyes widen with the insertion of Childe's hands into his ass. He moves his legs as asked, allowing the harbinger to do as he pleases. The use of multiple fingers makes Zhongli's back arches, his head falling back as he lets out another moan of the other's name.

It's only when he feels Childe's tongue that he looks up, startled almost, as a hand goes to Childe's head, gripping his hair lightly before Childe begins to eat him out. He'll ease back down against the bed tensing ever so slightly with each jolt of pleasure that runs through him. The leg that Childe isn't holding will come up to lay across Childe's shoulder, each slip of that tongue making Zhongli pant and groan out the other's name. ] Ah. Childe. Please...faster.

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